Sunday, April 20, 2008

whats prison like?

At age 17 I was arrested and charged with numerous counts of fraud & larceny. They put a $500,000 dollar bail on me. So needless to say I wasnt going anywhere. I was in an adult prison system and it was a real shock to the system. At first I just couldn't believe what had happened, I worried about when I would ever leave the place and thought I was going to be facing some serious time. Well I only ended up getting a year and I served the whole year.

Boy was it an interesting experience. Prior to being sentenced I was amongst a lot of other criminals who had done some serious crimes like murder, armed robbery, etc... I realized how much of a facade that these people put on everyday. They run around like hardened criminals and yet they cry in their bunks every night. I understood that wasn't the lifestyle that I wanted to live and made sure I stayed focused on changing it. I meditated nightly and the other inmates thought I was crazy, because they were bullshitting in there like it was a good time. I seen so many people leave and come back before I was even done with my sentence.

I've come to a point in my life where I realize that people really don't change. They can and anything is possible but they basically don't. It's funny though because when you come from where I come from, it's all the norm. At least it seems that way when you don't have any examples of the way life should be. I'm literally the only person that I know that has completely come out of that lifestyle. Back to the jail story though, it was kind of crazy sometimes and just extremely boring at other times.

I must have planned out about my whole life in that place and since getting out I've actually executed that plan quite well. One of the hardest parts was this girl I was dating, totally lead me on to believe that she would wait for me. First day I got out I found out she was with someone else and it crushed me. I guess what they say is right, time waits for no man and no woman waits for a man with time on his hands.

Well on a positive note since I've been out I started my own business and bought my first home when I was 20. It all wasn't that long ago and I still frequently deal with the issue. Constantly I worry about people that I work with now judging me about my past and maybe this is a way of getting to that next step. I'm allowing the internet to play the role of my psychologist I guess. come again!


seamenonthego said...

Wow to experience such things so early in life and during adolescence. I'm sure not a lot of people my age (teens) appreciate what you say, but I do. I admire your desire for change and your down-to-earth reaction. It's nice to know you didn't lose sanity and you're doing extremely well. I would just like to say that people shouldn't judge you. You're more successful than most who stayed clean in their lives. Thumbs up and I hope you make it so that I keep it up.

P.S.: not all women are like what you say. I've waited for my boyfriend for years and I still am. We're more than 200 miles away from each other and although it's no prison, it's hard enough. Just watch you'll find someone who will wait regardless of how much time you have on your hands.

Liquid said...

{{{{{Standing Ovation}}}}

anon said...

i guess i have formed somewhat of a unhealthy view on women but i still have hope =]